May 11, 2011

Back Behind The Wheel

Yesterday I had  a Physical Therapy appointment. It was with a new therapist, that specializes in injuries like mine. Joey arranged with his work to come home early to take me.

You see, I havn't been anywhere in the last 6 months by myself...I havn't been able to drive, I still can't sit in a normal chair.  So yesterday when Joey got home, he said, "are you gonna drive?" I said,"no, I think it will hurt to much, I don't know if I can" So he suggested going around the block and if it hurt too bad to just come back and he could pack up the kids and we'd all go. 

So I gathered my things, and hobbled out to the car. I was scared, and I was already hurting, so I was afraid of hurting myself more, I didn't know if I'd be able to sit. I am short, I normally sit really straight, and forward, so I didn't know how I'd drive, being somewhat reclined and having to stretch out my foot.

I slid into the car, placed my purse and cane on the passenger side. Put in the keys and started the car. As soon as I did it Kyah came running out to the car. I had had to work hard to convince the girls to stay inside, they kind of freaked out when I was leaving. They are a little sensitive to being without us now, after all that happend. They especially worry when leaving me, and this was the first time I was to leave them, since everything happend.

I shut off the car, not knowing if she ran out on her own. Then JoJo came up behind her, and then Joey. I told him it worried me, when they came running out, and asked what they were doing, he just said, "we're coming out to see mommy drive, and wave bye" He had the biggest grin on his face. I thought it was so cute the way they were so excited. At the same time i felt like quite the spectical!

I pulled out of the driveway, and drove away...around the block, I felt very nervous, like at any minute a car would pop out and hit me, or I'd forget something, or do something wrong. I almost went back. But I didn't.

I turned the music up a little, and soaked up the fact that I was doing this. I was driving, music going, all by of the few things I love to do by myself, and hadn't done much even before I was injured. Windows down, I drove on. I felt pain, and i tried to adjust the seat, it was painful, but somewhat bearable. I spent the 5-10 min drive thinking about how far I've come. I was a little worried, a little scared, a little paranoid. But I also was thankful. Just a few months ago, I couldn't even move without crying in pain, I couldn't walk, I almost lost my life. Here I was driving down the road, to an appointment. I almost felt "normal" ...almost. It felt so good!

I went in to my therapy appointment, and met Erika. She is awesome. She asked questions, tested out what I can do, we discussed a few excersizes to help me gain strength, but not overdo it. I left there feeling uplifted. I have waited so long, and prayed so hard for the right help. I have been through countless attempts at getting help. Finally we're on the right track. Thankyou Lord!!

I Drove home amazed at the body's ability to remember. My mind was racing, and concerned about remembering to drive right, but I found myself turning the wheel just like always without even really thinking about it, green light, turn, red slow and stop, ok, green, go now...all the while soaking it all up..singing my heart out to the Lord.  Oh God is so good!

An important fact, breaking, whether slowly or suddenly, HURTS! In case you didn't know. :D I won't be making it a habit to pick up driving totally, as it does hurt quite a bit, but now I know I can do it. Praising the Lord for His goodness. In ALL things give thanks!!!


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