I want to do it all. Given my current situation, it is hard to do anything, let alone do it all.
I have so much I want to share with the world, thoughts that I want to write, ideas for things to do, things to make, things to teach the kids.
Oh how I want to do it all.
I am learning so much through my personal bible studies. I have numerous studies going on right now, and at times I just want to burst, I am learning and growing and I often feel like I just need to tell everyone all the wonderful things that God has done, and will do. I plan to tell of God's goodness in this blog, but it is overwhelming sometimes. I always think I need to write that down, I don't want to forget all that God is doing.
I am listening to different sermons, I will be listening to a series with my husband, we are doing a husband and wofe study together, each with our own husband/wife book. I love it! I am learning just through things that happen. I see things God has done when I look back, when I think about how to word things to write, and I am overwhelmed by God's goodness through it all.
I'm reading blogs. I am blessed to have found a few precious blogs, that I love to read. One from another mother of a down syndrome little girl, which i conveniently found the day before I went into labor with Ava!! (what a God-thing, more on that later) blogs of christian familes, who are just taking it day by day, raising kids for the Lord. Those who have lost children, those who have lost a wife, struggled with other losses, near losses. Wow. God has shown me so many things through the examples of these people.
I have been remembering my love of all things crafty, and doing a few projects that I can do from bed, making tutus, cross-stich, scrap-booking (as funds allow)
I've been reading books, other than my Bible I am a little biased to Robin Jones Gunn. I recently got her Sisterchicks books, and her new Under A Maui Moon, also the Mrs Rosey Posey books (which Ava loves for me to read to her.) The final book of the Katie series, Christy Miller's Diary. I Love her books and was quite pleased to spend my brthday money on her new books. I havn't got one of them since Savannah was born, that was when she first wrote the forst two Katie books. I enjoyed reading Choosing to See by Mary Beth Chapman, I highly recommend it. (I was so blessed to receive money for my birthday from my parents, to be able to purchase these books, and the crafty things too. without it, I couldn't do/have those things. They have been a huge blessing at this time)
I see all these things happen in other's lives and I doubt myself. I think, why do I think I have anything important to write about. They lost a child, what I've been through is not that bad. Then I start thinking about it, and all the struggles, and things the Lord has done. And God brings the focus back to Him. That is why I am writing, He is the reason. He has led us, guided us, brought us through tough times. Tougher than most people realise, and darker than you would think. That is why I need to share. I NEED to tell of God's goodness. I NEED to give Him the glory for getting us through this. I NEED to share how He is the only reason we have any of the blessings we have, and HE is the reason we are here. HE is my All, HE is the center of my life. HE is the reason I live and breathe each day.
We have strong convictions in our house. Many times we have been looked down on for having such strong convictions. People think surely there's no harm in doing 'this' or doing 'that'. Then you have the "you're so self-righteous" people. The ones that assume you are judging them because you hold yourself to a high standard, the ones who claim you are just prideful, holier than thou, inconsiderate, and unrealistic. I would say I'm sorry...but...da da da da... BUT I won't. I am not sorry for following my Saviour! I will not apologise for trying to live by His standards. You may call it judgmental, or self-righteous. I call it, Biblical.
Yes, I have high standards, and a low tolerance for sin. It is only because I myself am a sinner too. But God has called me to be much more than that. I am not just a sinner, I am not just a sinner saved by grace. I am a child of the King. I will do everything I can to bring HIM glory in EVERYTHING I do. I want everything I say to tell of my Lord, everything I do. I want to teach my children, that Christ should be at the center. We are to die to self, and live for Christ.
Ok, I know I kind of went off on a little tangent, but I have also lately been so on fire for the things that I am always burdened about and long to share with people. Why is it that people pour money into saving abused animals (I don't think abusing animals is ok btw) but yet they say it is ok to kill children!? How does that work?? Why is it ok to speak about Gay-marriage not being ok, but then go home and watch countless shows parading homosexuality around! Why is it ok to look down on people and say they shouldn't drink, smoke, do drugs etc, yet after sunday you're drunk. Or standing outside the church parking lot smoking? Since when is it ok to sin, and not ok to advocate against it???
Just some of the things that have been on my mind lately.
If you are one of those people who would like to sit in your comfy cozy state of sin, living it up in this "modern life" hearing sermons all about how God is love and all is good. Then you may not like this blog. Sure I will be sharing God's goodness. This is the UP Look! But God is a whole lot more than just good. He is just, He is fair, He is Holy, He is judge...I choose to live my life according to the Bible. I whole-heartedly believe in doing this, God has blessed us. I hope to show in this blog that we are normal. We do sin, we do things we regret, we have thoughts that we can't find answers to. But when you have the Up look...it doesn't matter. God is bringing us through, HE is our Hope!
I may not be able to "do it all" But I know the one who can. I pray that He will guide my fingers and guide my thoughts as I share with you... you will see the good...and you will see the bad. You will find out things that may cause you to look differently at us...I hope that through it all you will see that we are REAL...we are normal, and GOD is the one lifting us up. It is HE who holds us together, He picks us up when we fall. Jesus Christ came to this earth that He might give His life for His children. He took the punishment for my sin, and I am ever grateful for My Saviour's sacrifice. He rose from the grave and sits at the right hand of the Father, interceding for me. To God be the Glory! Here are some verses I thought of as I was writing this.
Oh I LOVE Philippians 3! I was thinking of verse 13 + 14. But as I looked it up to type out and make sure I get it right, the following verses were so fitting for what I have been talking about. If you want to see continue reading past verse 14. Why not just read the whole chapter. Oh they are so good.
Not as though I had already attained, either were already perfect; but I follow after, if that I may apprehend that for which also I am apprehended of Christ Jesus. Brethren, I count not myself to have apprehended; but this one thing I do, forgetting those things which are behind, and reaching forth unto those things which are before, I press towards the mark for the prize of the high calling of God in Christ Jesus.
I realise I may seem harsh to a lot of people. I don't try to sound harsh, sometimes that is how the truth sounds. But I truly earnestly pray that not only will this blog encourage you, and show you the goodness of God, but also urge you to live for Him, to surrender your life, WHOLY to Him. Living a life for His glory is not always easy. But Oh the Joy that you will have in getting through it with God's grace.
I promise I will get to Kyah's birth story... I had a lot on my heart today. Thanks for reading.
Keep Looking Up!